For the sartorially obsessed, the die-hard style mavens and the red carpet aficionados among ye, if you live and breathe, you’ll have undoubtably oohed and aahed over the glamour and gorgeousness of the gúnas* that graced The Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday night. And, although there was undoubtably a peppering of prettiness in the way of fabulous frocks; unfortunately for the style watchers of the world there were definitely a few misses amongst the hits. And who among us doesn’t love to hate those dire disaster dress-zones?
On that note, may I present to you the red carpet losers of 2011’s SAG awards…
Jane Lynch
Let me begin with Jane Lynch, who’s better known as the venom-tongued Sue Sylvester, arch-nemesis of Will Schuester in happy-go-peppy high school hit, Glee. While she pulls off Adidas tracksuits like no other on the silver screen, the same cannot be said of this rather-dressier-by-several-degrees lilac number. Designed by Ali Rahimi, there’s oh-so-much wrong with Ms. Lynch’s dress that it’s hard to know where to start. But start I shall… From the swimsuit-style neckline to the overly fussy bodice; and the unnecessary draping suffocating the under-skirt to the heaviness of the fabric; it’s pretty heinous. If I had to pick a single redeeming feature, it would be the brooch on the waistline. But other than that, it gets a big F- from me.
Kate Mara
Second on our list of red carpet losers is Kate Mara, who has appeared in box office hits 127 Hours and Iron Man 2. While she may be gaining momentum as an actress, having appeared in the former and latter this year alone, this tan coloured monstrossity that she sported at the SAGS is sure to give her no leg up whatsoever as far as the style stakes go. Half bandage dress, half toilet roll cover, the split personality of this gown is not at all flattering. Or pretty. And her hair band does not help this sorry situation a single bit. In fact, it makes her look rather child-like, which is not what you want when you’re swimming amongst a veritable sea of (sometimes shark-like) sophisticated actresses at an awards do. Her look pretty much ties with Jane Lynch’s purple assault on the eyes as SAG’s most ugliest look of 2011.
Angie Harmon
Third on our list of SAG disaster zone dresses is Angie Harmon’s explosion-in-a-candy-floss-factory, pastel pink Monique Lhuillier number, which certainly grabbed my attention, albeit for all the wrong reasons. Quite frankly, it looks like the bizarre love child of a Miss Piggy cast-off and a flock of unsuspecting ostriches. Or, something the epitome-of-classiness herself (insert sarcasm sign here), Jordan would wear to court some attention from the paps at a premiere. Either way, not a good look, Angie.
Cara Buono
Another strong contender for the SAG’s worst dressed gong is Cara Buono, of Mad Men fame. She walked the red carpet in a teal J. Mendel fusspot of a gown. “Wow” is the first word that comes to mind, albeit not in a good way. There is just too, too much going on in this dress. There’s ruffles, there’s pleating and there’s ruching. Not to mention the overly complicated bodice. It’s just overkill. Less is more, Cara.
January Jones
Joining Miss Buono on this most dreaded of lists is Mad Men colleague, January Jones. To be perfectly honest, the first thing that popped into my head on seeing her decked out in Carolina Herrera was that she bore more than a passing resemblance to a surely-qualifying-as-antique coffee-soaked doily. Better luck next time, Jan.
Christina Hendricks
January and Cara weren’t the only Mad Men alum to don threads of the distinctly dodgy variety on Sunday night. Oh, no. For joining them in the sort of hat-trick one never aspires to is fellow co-star, Christina Hendricks. Usually she looks amazing and brings a bit of va va voom to red carpets with her coveted and oft-commented-on curves, so that makes her inclusion on this list all the more disappointing. But, disappointing at the SAGS she was. While she may indeed be wearing L’Wren Scott, unfortunately the belted waist, long sleeves and thigh-high split evoke visions of a dated-looking bath robe, not a couture gúna of beauty; so the copper haired actress ends up looking more ready for soaking-in-the-bath time than whirling-down-the-red-carpet time. The colour of the robe-come-dress sits too harshly against her porcelain doll-like, alabaster-toned skin, also, gurning wildly against her gently coiffed ‘do. I get that you’re trying to evoke the spirit of the Mad Men ’70’s, with the material, and in homage to the hit that’s got you at the SAGS — probably? — but, it’s just too thigh-high, aged, and ageing.
Hailee Steinfeld
Hailee Steinfeld, the up-and-coming young actress who has been critically lauded for her performance as Mattie Ross in True Grit, unfortunately is not going to be lauded for her sartorial sense any time soon, if this offering is anything to go by. And sadly, provides us with proof positive that Prada doesn’t always mean pretty. To be frank, this garish gown is nothing short of an absolute monstrosity. It looks like an overgrown pumpkin patch, a tube of fuschia lippie and a Sharpie marker got into a fistfight. And I’m not really clear which one of them won, to be honest…
Helena Bonham Carter
Let me preface this by saying, in the championing-of-over-capitalization-style-of-Caitlin-Moran, that I LOVE Helena Bonham Carter. Oh, I do LOVE HER! So, oh, how it pains me to add Helena Bonham Carter to this list. It really does. I can usually be counted on to champion her quirky, some even may say wacky, style; and to be honest I adore how she isn’t just another cookie cutter star who wears only what the fashion Gods deem to be ‘in’ that season; and how she just doesn’t seem to give a damn about what anyone thinks of her sartorial choices.
Yet here I am, adding her to yet another worst dressed list. In fairness, her monochrome Marc Jacobs pick for the SAGS pales in comparison to some of the other horrors mentioned above, but still, I can’t say I’m a fan of her red carpet look here. Overall, the dress just screams 1990s. From the thick, sheer straps to the detailing on the skirt and bodice, it just looks dated. And that fringe is doing her no favours, I’m afraid. However, on the plus side, I’m all for her Lulu Guinness clutch. But other than that, it’s a definite no from me.
Naya Rivera
Coming in last on the list is Glee‘s Naya Rivera. While by no means the worst dressed on the red carpet Sunday night, she definitely is worthy of at the least an honourable mention here, mainly due to the side-order of bolt-on boob à la Victoria Beckham’s implants -of-old, which are in no way concealed in this silver Aurelio Costarella number. Her showy display is more than a bit naff, and the metallic detailing on the bust is very breastplate-like. Next time, cover up the half-watermelon-like appendages and you might fare better in the style stakes.
Well, there you have it, style addicts. The nine most fugliest looks on the SAG red carpet of 2011. Here’s to many more dubious dress disasters to snark over in the future!
This was originally published on February 4, 2011.
Images: Google Images
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April Barry 